We attended a wedding of the daughter of some dear friends last night. The father of the bride whom we have long known to be the family prankster and comedian, was struggling to shorten his “father of the bride speech.” My husband jokingly told him he would time it and stop listening at seven minutes. As he began his speech, and Paul clicked on his stopwatch, he reminisced about the years watching his daughter become the beautiful woman she is today and how much joy she brought to him. There were the typical embarrassing stories of her youth and a few digs at his new son-in-law that got a laugh. Then at the end, he took a twist that will stay with me forever. He shared a memory of the families 2019 Christmas. His brother and family live nearby and all three of their girls were home for the holidays. It was a large gathering that also included his Mom. She has always been the matriarch of the family and has passed down a long legacy of musical, theatrical, talented and successful children and grandchildren. She also put her heart and soul into the Venice Little Theatre and to this day it continues to be the heart of this small Florida community. Now in the late stages of Alzheimers, the theatre performances she was such a part of are no longer in her memory.

As our friend continued his story, his voice choked back the emotion and he recounted the memory of that Christmas. He recalled as the family gathered around, his Mother had something to say. She said, “I don’t know any of you, but I know I love you!” Let that sink in. The wedding attendees suddenly became silent and I felt the lump in my throat. Our friend then shared with his daughter and husband the take home message. Love always wins! It doesn’t matter what life brings you, the joys and the deepest sorrows; love always wins. The pain that memory loss brought to his Mom and family will never take away love. Of course my thoughts went to my Mom. I know to the very end, that she loved me. She couldn’t communicate with words, but the grip of her hand in mine said it well. Love won.

The “father of the bride speech” went just over nine minutes, but the message lives in my heart forever. If you are along the journey of dementia with a loved one, take heart in knowing that they love you. Don’t give up on that love, because it always wins.

Loved and grateful,

Brenda